Why I Wrote the Book Making Love Last

My life has been deeply blessed—with love, growth, challenges, and profound fulfillment. Over the course of 51 years together, my husband has been my greatest teacher. Through our shared journey, I’ve learned about patience, tolerance, forgiveness, and the kind of acceptance that only comes from choosing love again and again, even when it's hard.

As a psychologist, I’ve had the privilege of sitting with many couples—each relationship offering insights, truths, and lessons about what it means to love another human being over time. I have learned just as much from my clients as I have from textbooks. And while every couple’s journey is unique, there are common patterns that, when understood and nurtured, help love last.

The last 16 years of our marriage have been shaped by our commitment to recovery—individually and together. That path led us not only toward healing but toward a deeper spiritual foundation. Spirituality, for us, isn’t just about belief—it’s about showing up with honesty, humility, and presence. It’s about listening, growing, making amends, and finding grace in each other’s arms. That spiritual dimension now touches every part of our relationship.

I wrote Making Love Last as an offering to the LGBTQ+ community—a way to share our story, our struggles, our victories, and the tools that have helped us stay connected through the decades. It is a blend of personal experience, clinical insight, and heartfelt guidance. My hope is that it helps other gay men build relationships grounded in authenticity, mutual care, and enduring connection.

With gratitude and love,

Dr. Steve May